Sweet Desperation

so its been awhile, life apparently is crazzzzy in november....

I dont know if it should because its NOvember... haha get it lol?... I'm such a nerd... kay.

anyways i decided something really important the last week or so being blogless and super crazy busy.... I think its pretty climatic in my life

I am going to apply to university for fall term.

this very thought evokes all kinds of worries and doubts, but I know that if I never do it, if I dont at least try to attain a degree ... I will feel like a failure to the tenth degree.

do I think ill get in? I dont know... I'm a mature student so different thinks apply.... but thats only half of it

will I get accepted for a line of credit?..... yet again a big I dont know, and thats the big one, since if I cant get the funding, there is no way that I could ever live, and go to school without it.... ever.

I live with my boyfriend, theres rent to pay, food to be eaten for survival plus tuition, books, etc etc.

but I wont know, If I dont try... and its important to me, I know it is....... I just hope I can get it....