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Sunday, October 4, 2009
do you ever have that feeling... that feeling that you arent who you use to be anymore, that the way you were isnt what you are... anymore.
I have just been feeling lately, that with some of my friends, I just dont have the same interests anymore. Like I just dont feel like going out and getting trashed every weekend, and meeting guys and being crazy.
I know they mean well, and I know they dont try and intentionally hurt my feelings when they make fun of the way I am now... but it does sting. They go off on tangents making fun of the fact that me and my boyfriend are like an old married couple, how we do crosswords together, or play crib together or just chill out. They make fun of the fact that I dont party as much as I use to anymore,.
I just hurts, I guess no matter how old you become, you want to feel accepted by your friends... you want their approval.
Maybe the real reason is that I sometimes don think some of my friends are happy for me, that I found someone I love and want to spend my life with.... I dunno.
the problem is I love myself... I love where I am right now. I love being "old" with stu, I love just being myself. I love just doing domestic things, I dont want or need to go out dancing and getting drunk to make myself feel good.
I guess what my friends dont know, is the girl that use to be fun and a good time, wasnt a happy girl. Wasnt a girl that was o.k. with herself. That girl wanted to be that girl she is now.
I guess theres no turning back, theres no second glances, theres no apologies.
I guess if they are my true friends they'll stick around, old lady or not. Only time will tell
But like Meredith told Derek on Grey's Anatomy, "I make no apologies for the way I repaired myself"
you tell it sista. lol
Labels: friends
4 comments:
it's very possible -- as awful as this might sound -- that your friends aren't happy for you right now. maybe they're a tad jealous or a bit insecure about their own life decisions, and being around you in some way highlights their own momentary shortcomings.
when they start to say something that irritates you, even if it's said in so-called fun, just smile and end your time together abruptly. it shouldn't take them long to get the message.
Of course, I had that feeling! I can't count how many times. But I always find a way to bounce back. Everyone does. You will! You'll see..
Smile! Bloggers are here for you... :)
I can definitely say that I had this happen to me too when I met the fella of my dreams. Things change. When you meet the man you really want to spend time with, and sometimes you change. You grow up. Your true friends will realize you are for the better and will stick by you, but there are some that will be lost. I've found that it was better they were lost.
It sounds like you're happy and that's all that matters. Don't let others ruin what you have. If your friends can't love and support you for exactly who and what you are RIGHT NOW, then they aren't your friends. They WERE your friends. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and support you, not ones that try to drag you back to where you came from.
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