Sweet Desperation

Well....

I decided to write about my very good caitlin today. I think about her lots, more then I let on, so its quite the topic to talk about .

I have known Caitlin for awhile, since I was 18, I met her on my katimavik excursion into the world (the discovering yourself trip) and I can hobestly say , she is what I took from the trip. She was the best thing that I took. She lives in Toronto(center of the world according to toronites) , which makes visiting hard , but we talk on the phone.

I knew she was going to be my best friend as soon as I saw her, and and I told her so, I said "I know we are going to be great friends" and we really were. we played cards together, drank tea together, went clubbing together, shared a disgusting room in Quebec together. we just understood each other. we accepted each other

not to say that our friendship is perfect, I have hurt her, she has hurt me, and we have fought. I wish I never did hurt her and I regret doing that..... shes a way better friend

what I feel for her in unconditional, shes not just a friend, shes my person. a constant in my life. shes my family.... I love her like my family . i know that when I have the opportunity to get married, I will have her there as a bridesmaid she will stand with the woman that are the pillars of my life. she deserves to be there.more then some .

its hard, having her not with me anymore, its hard not having her there to talk to and turn to, its just plain hard. I miss all the things in her life now, all the little things that are not said between phone calls, I miss all of that, I'm missing her life, and she is missing mine. which sucks . but its a great comfort to know she is just a phone call away.... that shes there if I really truely need her to be. thats what makes it o.k, thats what makes me o.k. with it..

shes one of the loves of my life , and I couldnt imagine a better person to love......